manda

Take a chance and roll the dice.

2009-11-01T19:50:09Z

mandawithagun @ 2008-06-15T21:24:00

2008-06-16T01:24:54Z

BYE! :}

time to move on...

2008-05-30T21:54:29Z

this happened:

two days later, this happened:

and now i have to go to a model call.
see you.

mandawithagun @ 2008-03-24T22:21:00

2008-03-25T02:21:59Z

haha please just stop telling me what you think i want to hear and tell me the truth. thank you.

mandawithagun @ 2008-02-08T15:54:00

2008-02-08T20:54:21Z

i am going to be 18 in 30 days.

mandawithagun @ 2007-12-17T16:04:00

2007-12-17T21:10:28Z

I MISS YOU! I MISS YOU! I MISS YOU!

I miss everything. i miss seeing you all the time. i miss all the things we used to do. i miss the way you look. i miss... you.

mandawithagun @ 2007-10-27T23:53:00

2007-10-28T03:56:56Z

how dare you ever call me promiscuous. how dare you. i bet you dont even know how deeply that hurts me. i never even meant to hurt you. you cant take it back.

you do not even respect my space or even my stuff. i dont understand where you come off saying i dont respect yours.

just stay out of my way for a while, if you can.
i'll be respectful if thats what you want.

mandawithagun @ 2007-10-14T20:01:00

2007-10-15T00:04:09Z

postsecret is one of the most important things to me.

i cant help but connect.

mandawithagun @ 2007-07-29T02:40:00

2007-07-29T06:40:29Z

I HAVE BEEN AVOIDING EVERYONE.

I AM PUSHING EVERYONE AWAY.
I DONT KNOW WHY.

KEEP PUSHING, PLEASE.

I MISS YOU.

mandawithagun @ 2007-07-09T10:41:00

2007-07-09T14:42:10Z

4 days.

mandawithagun @ 2007-07-03T08:53:00

2007-07-03T12:55:00Z

10 days.

mandawithagun @ 2007-06-28T22:29:00

2007-06-29T02:35:08Z

im so utterly alone. im nothing without him. he is my everything. im falling apart.

i feel like everyone has left me behind. i have neglected them for so long that they dont need me anymore.
and its true. because everyone is perfectly happy with the way things are and i was. but now that he isn't here to fill in time i have nothing. utterly nothing. sure i have the most important ones, janeen and katie walker texts me every so often but i dont think anyone else notices me. im not in their lives enough to even consider picking up the phone and inviting me. im out of the picture, cut out. its okay. i guess, im just going to have to find fillers for the next 16 days.

ill be counting.

and please dont respond with pity and stuff i dont need. i just needed to write this down. i dont need it.

mandawithagun @ 2007-06-26T18:01:00

2007-06-26T22:03:01Z

i love him so much. i miss him. he tells me its boring but i bet its not. he is doing all this stuff and im doing nothing. i love him.

mandawithagun @ 2007-06-18T15:31:00

2007-06-18T19:34:03Z

this is my new phone!
hit me up with your digits, ill post later with mine if you waaant.

mandawithagun @ 2007-06-16T22:47:00

2007-06-17T02:55:19Z

i want someone to tell me that they can tell me anything because they trust me enough not to think anything of them or even go run and tell people. i want someone to always be just a phone call away. i want someone mature enough to converse with me yet can get down and act like we're five. i dont think i have found the right person for the job, sadly. im sorry. no offensive but i feel like im butting into something so much greater than our relationship. i just envy you two. the bound you have and the friendship is so great it is overwelming. i guess i just felt that a break was needed between you two and i just stuck myself in there. i guess in some sort of a way i was a rebound. but like a lost puppy you found your way back home and you're happy again and i feel out of place but im okay with it. like im so happy that your happy that it doesn't even bother me. i dont know what im talking about anymore but i think you will. hopefully.

mandawithagun @ 2007-06-08T21:59:00

2007-06-09T02:05:30Z

i dont want to grow up
no seriously.

stop getting embarrassed when i rub bbq sauce all over my face.
dont tell me to calm down.
who the fuck cares if everyone is staring, let them.
you dont know them.
you'll probably never see them again.
shut up, please.

im so down about growing up.
i know i dont have to yet but i feel like everyone expects me to be more mature now a days.
i hate it.
stop telling me that i need to act my age.
im five, im acting the right age, promise.

i want to see different people and do different thing.
im feeling too routine.
i feel lifeless.

come to my rescue.
but no one will. :}

mandawithagun @ 2007-05-15T16:09:00

2007-05-15T20:11:19Z

everyi feel like phillip is always sneaking around my back.
is it just me being a over-protective dumb girlfriend being paranoid?
or is he?

i just dont know what to do.
i wish i could tell when he was lying or not.

just kidding, janeen talked to me and i've decided that its not possible and i love him and he loves me and stuff. and i love my best friend.

mandawithagun @ 2007-05-13T22:52:00

2007-05-14T02:55:46Z

its been 6 months with the boy already.
time is flyin'.

mandawithagun @ 2007-05-08T20:57:00

2007-05-09T00:59:20Z

"janeen" (4:06:24 PM): im really glad we got closer this year

"janeen" (4:06:29 PM): you're pretty ok i guess

"janeen" (4:06:35 PM): haha

hey manda kaye (4:06:24 PM): :[

hey manda kaye (4:06:43 PM): im seriously going to miss you.

hey manda kaye (4:06:49 PM): haha im dumb.

"janeen" (4:07:38 PM): pshh fuck that... you're one of the coolest people i've ever met... and out of everyone i know that i still talk to... you're the only one thats never let me down

"janeen" (4:08:26 PM): * to clarify... that "fuck that" was to me being all non chelant about how im going to miss you like mad crazy

"janeen" (4:08:33 PM): dunno how to spell chelant

"janeen" (4:10:36 PM): manda type long time

hey manda kaye (4:10:25 PM): like, i am i dont know how to say this but... im going to miss you being there for me to joke with and to be there for me to make fun of people and to laugh with. im going to miss drawing with you and the way we know each others humor so well. i feel like im so close with you yet i've known you the shortest. i just want you to know, i really consider you my best friend and i love you and im proud of you for graduating and actually going to college. okay, im done...

"janeen" (4:11:28 PM): ....................HUG!

"janeen" (4:11:36 PM): sdlkfjlkjdf i hate computer monitors

"janeen" (4:11:45 PM): i wanna jump through the cable modem

mandawithagun @ 2007-05-07T14:14:00

2007-05-07T18:48:59Z

this is my third period.
it seems alot better than english.

jordan mountjoy.

2007-05-02T01:31:45Z

so, boy, you're gone.
now are you happy?
are you happy now you can't hurt anymore?
now that no one can upset you,
no one will ever bring you down.

are you happy now that no one can hug you?
now that no one can make your day,
no one will ever make you happy, again.

boy, you will be missed,
god damn you will be missed.
i hope people learn from you.
i pray that people will learn from you.

your "brothers"
your "brothers" are crying.
the men.
the men are crying.

boy, i hope you're happier where you are.

i will miss you.
they will miss you.

i hope that you can see us now and
how many people you have impacted.

boy, you will be missed.

Purple!

2007-04-27T19:25:02Z

mandawithagun @ 2007-04-26T15:44:00

2007-04-26T19:48:51Z

I'M LISTENING TO THE THONG SONG AND IT IS REALLY AMUSING.
:)

today was really good.
i figured out that i love janeen cooper more than i used to.

LET ME SEE THAT THOOONG!

i am getting my hair did tonight at apporoximately 6:30
something with blonde and purple.

whooo!

TEAL?

2007-04-06T01:48:08Z

mandawithagun @ 2007-03-30T17:24:00

2007-03-30T21:26:49Z

bahhaa i love everything.

I MISS EVERYONE THOUGH.
i need some serious friends because being surrounded by the same people all the time is making me bored.